The first half of my life was full of growth, learning, curiosity, and working hard. I recall as a young adolescent looking at people in their late 30’s or early 40’s and thinking “They have it all figured out! I can’t wait to be there! I’ll have money, be my own boss, and have it all figured out too with no problems!” I didn’t realize at the time but those were all projections and fantasies. I found external objects (e.g., adults) to put things into like authority, intellectualism, inner peace, and satisfaction. I didn’t realize at the time those things existed inside of me. However, I’m grateful for my projections. They pulled me forward through life. I worked hard to chase money, embolden my intellect, and figure out problems. 

However, these projections, relentless hustle, and pursuit of intelligence came at a cost. I’ve lived about 2,089 weeks at this point and I have about 2,018 left to go according to the Social Security Administration. That means maybe 6 more Christmas days with my folks (we alternate every year), 3 more milestone birthdays, and maybe 500 more paychecks depending on when I retire. I don’t have a lot of time left and what I relied on in the first half of life won’t get me through the next half. 

I can’t physically or mentally do what I used to be able to do. My ego has a highly developed “thinking” component though and it relishes in this. In fact, if you want to try and trigger me, question my logic or intellectual prowess; my ego needs constant reasurrance that it’s not stupid. This “thinking” way of living in the first half caused me to value the mind and intellect above all else even to the detriment of my intuition and feelings. Now my journey has been and will continue to be finding those undeveloped and split off parts and honing them into something useful for the world. The journey on this half is just as hard. Many have taken it before and my brothers and sisters that walk with me make the trails easier to navigate and fill them with love. 

I turned 40 years old last week and like many of you, you might have realized that there is an invitation in mid-life where your soul calls you a little deeper. Answer the call! It can be the most terrifying thing you ever do, but our biggest treasures lay in the darkest caves sometimes. 

Below I’d like to share 40 lessons and pieces of wisdom I’ve picked up in my 40 laps around the sun. I don’t have it all figured out. In fact, I believe I have very little figured out which you may ascertain based on what I’ve written below. However, I challenge you – what may not make sense to you today may be just what you need tomorrow. My hope is that this helps you think and feel differently! Cheers!

  1. Walking is really hard; relentlessly pursue it, unashamedly fall, move your body like no one is watching
  2. Do not hastily work with combustible materials and heat when oxygen is present. All you need is a chemical reaction and you’ll burn your truck down
  3. Nothing great in life comes without sacrifice
  4. If I fail to prepare, I have prepared to fail
  5. Keep your truck clean, it will run better
  6. People treat people differently based on things outside of their control or choosing yet we often attribute their differences to decisions they’ve made (e.g., skin color, body size, addiction, etc.)
  7. It is very difficult to make meaningful mistakes
  8. Frequently drinking large amounts of alcohol and wondering why you’re making such poor decisions is like rolling in broken glass then contemplating why you’re getting cut
  9. Scared money don’t make money
  10. If people cheat at games, don’t play life with them
  11. Before you can accept the differences in others, you must accept the differences within you
  12. You don’t get to choose “if” you struggle. You do get to choose if your struggle is meaningful
  13. Stay in the penthouse of a 3-star place rather than the bottom floor of a 5-star one. You’ll feel better about yourself
  14. Be a turtle: A little quiet discipline applied everyday always beats thoughtless enthusiasm, shortcuts, and explosive energy
  15. When dancing, it doesn’t matter where you end up on the dance floor when the music stops. What matters is if you enjoyed the dance
  16.  Hope is a double edged sword; you need it to move forward but too much of unrealized hope will kill you 
  17. Your best work is never done after 9PM – go to bed
  18. The measure of my own enlightenment is proportionate to the comfort I have with my own contradictions
  19. If you are being tortured, make your torturers work hard to feel that they are successful
  20. You’ve got to give up winning so you can win
  21. Those who don’t look into the darkness are destined to stay there
  22. Go back the way you came so that you can move forward
  23. Don’t question the good times, love, gratitude or gifts of life. Just deeply enjoy them. Foreboding joy is the death of heaven
  24. If something works or if you have an innate talent, don’t worry so much about why; just do it
  25. Your values and virtues will curtail your growth one day – be mindful of that
  26. Be careful of the things you chase into the forest to make you happy for you’ll soon learn that what you were chasing is actually chasing you.
  27. The best kept secrets amongst the gods is that they were created by us.
  28. If you’re upgrading your problems, you’re upgrading your life, but we all still have problems
  29. The feeling of not knowing is the threshold to wisdom
  30. Hurt people hurt people
  31. Love won’t change who you are; it just dissolves who you aren’t
  32. We tend to see what we believe more so than believe what we see
  33. Our identity is a construct. It’s a set of stories we tell ourselves about our past experiences
  34. You might not be able to change the world by believing everyone is good, doing their best, and has love in their heart, but you just might change yourself
  35. Fully living into your unique life is your responsibility; how that makes others feel is their responsibility
  36. I am no thing. I am the 10,000 things. I am one and I am many. I am
  37. Because we are one with the Spirit, we have the qualities of the Spirit; They are us and we are them
  38. Wherever I go, there I am, patiently and compassionately awaiting my arrival
  39. If you meet your eternal beloved on your journey to enlightenment, kill it, lest you never reach your destination
  40. I am not in this room. This room is in me.